Kirkby Lonsdale floral tributes ‘no-go’ (From The Westmorland Gazette)

I can understand that it is extremely distressing for those who have losted a loved one together with a valued friend. But the leaving of floral tributes be at the site of where the person lost their life, or by the memorial seat is not the way forward. I agree with what the council have said.

im a local to Kirkby, and what are you meant to do if your loved one was cremated and their ashes spread?
where do you pay your respects to then, not the graveyard like they said.

the flowers are not unslightly, but a rememberance, nothing is ever left in ill taste.

i was recently on holiday and we found a rememberance place for a young person that was killed, and instead of feeling as if someone had died, we stood and read them and felt sorry for the loved ones of that particualr person.

the council cant stop tributes being left.

I am Tom's mum and as I am writing this I am seeing on the TV hundreds of people in Germany leaving flowers and lighting candles for the young people who died so tragically last night while at a music concert. You can see on their faces, these people really need to do this they are grieving and anything that helps express this grief in my book is a good thing. I don’t remember anyone complaining about the thousands and thousands of flower tributes put down outside Buckingham Palace for Princess Diana in fact the opposite was true everyone was just in awe of them. I don't care what the council thinks or says and I certainly don't care about what some stranger who comes into my home town where I've lived all my life to sit on a bench for five minutes thinks either. I pass that bench every day when I go to spend time by Tom's graveside where I do lay flowers and light candles - Yes Mr Malcolm Dewhurst I do actually know that my son is in the graveyard and that we have graveyards ‘to remember the dead’. I see ‘the flowers’ on the bench as I pass by and I know why they are there, and I know exactly how the people who have put them there are feeling too, what harm are they doing. How dare this woman complain, if it upset her so much there are plenty of other benches on Ruskin’s View that she could have chosen to sit on. And the irony is all the benches placed on Ruskin’s View are memorial benches in memory of people who have died. All the flowers and tributes that people left for Tom at the top of Mitchelgate gave us an amazing amount of comfort as we tried to get through those devastating dark days and still give us comfort to look back on and read now as we still try to cope with our life without Tom. If any of the council members had taken the time to read the messages that people left they would realise that. Not only did it gave us great comfort to read the messages and see all the beautiful flowers but also, it helped all Tom's friends to be able to leave tributes there for him, they needed to do it. The flowers were not unsightly at all and we made sure they stayed neat and tidy and did not spill out onto the footpath and we collected them all up after a suitable period of time had passed. Perhaps the council could concentrate their efforts more on tidying up the road and replacing the burnt tarmac that we all still have to look at and pass by every day which is still there 8 months on.
The article also mentions the flowers recently planted at the KLFC football ground (pictures of which are actually printed in the newspaper). Last Sunday it was the annual KLFC six a side football tournament and this year it was held in memory of Tom. Tom played for the club, football was his passion, and he was very loyal to his club. His team mates started a collection for funeral flowers for Tom and the response they got was tremendous and they received much more than needed for flowers. So from this money, they have built a beautiful stone faced and paved stand in his memory next to the club house and one of Tom’s close friends is making a bench to go on the stand. They also planted a garden next to the stand which included flowers in the name TOM. They did it all themselves and worked really hard to get it all finished for Sunday as an absolutely amazing and wonderful tribute to their friend.
Thank you to the Westmorland Gazette for bringing to our attention how ‘caring and understanding’ some members of ‘our’ town council are.

I am shocked and outraged that some people can be so heartless as to suggest the tribute of flowers in memory of a person loved by many can be seen as unsightly. Have these people never lost somebody so very dear to them? Have they not experienced the devastation left from such a void in there lives? The answer can surely be no as to think this is inhumane. Tom was known to all in Kirkby Lonsdale and the entire town was left in despair. Tom's family have been comforted in the knowledge that so many cared a great deal for thier son and the tributes left are a reminder of this.
Councillors Malcolm Dewhurst and Roger Taylor ought to be ashamed of themselves. Thier comments are both distasteful and disrespectful and I hope for thier sakes they don't have to go through the pain and suffering that Tom's family and friends have had to. Well done to Allan Muirhead for having a heart.

'But the leaving of floral tributes be at the site of where the person lost their life, or by the memorial seat is not the way forward............'


and you have the right to say that this is not the way forward do you???? WHAT IS THEN???? As if these people haven't been through enough without having to read things like this in THEIR local paper. Nice to see the council supporting the people who make the town what it is.
People have the right to leave flowers wherever may be of sentimental value to them and that isn't necessarily the graveyard. Nice to see that in Mr Muirhead the council does actually consist of one decent man, and as for the interfering people that come to visit Kirkby Lonsdale they should respect what they find.

I think this is an absolute disgrace not only to the memory of all those who have been honoured through floral tributes but those who have shown feelings through tributes. I knew Tom and on the day he died I sat with his friends and we cried. A group at a time we went to the place it had occurred and laid flowers because this is the only thing we could do to show our love.
Death occurs yet we pretend it is not happening, only to leave those who have to suddenly deal with it at a loss at what to do. Placing those flowers gave me and my friends a way to honour his life, show our love for him and let others know that he was loved.
Flowers have been used to express sympathy and thoughts at this sensitive and emotional time for years. They are a simple and beautiful way to create a personal tribute. Those who cannot express words on such a sad day can express it through flowers.
I have never known flowers to have been named 'unsightly' before.
If these are unsightly what about the banning of poppies on remembrance day? what about the banning of the flower display to mark the 70th anniversary of the Battle of Britain in fleetwood? An artist who planted pansies at the site of homophobic attacks won a Royal Horticultural Society gold medal ...should this be taken off him as he may offend a woman who is walking past?
Was it not the lancashire council who commissioned the floral tribute to the cockle pickers?
When is it ok for a floral tribute? When one person has died? a child? a group? a minority? a soldier???

The world will be a very sad place if the thoughts of one who deems flowers to be 'unsightly' is more important than the good that these floral tributes have done to those who lost a loved one.