BE honest, it’s just not Strictly is it?

No matter how hard ITV tries and no matter how much viewing time they take up with it, Dancing on Ice will never eclipse the ultimate ‘celebrities learn new skills to provide entertainment’ show.

As someone who is scared of going ice skating for fear of falling and having my fingers chopped off by a reckless skater as I lay prone on the ice (bizarre but true), I suppose it was never going to be the programme for me.

But I just get the impression that everyone tries too hard to convince the viewers that it’s great entertainment.

Every credit to the celebs for having a go. It is dangerous and they do get better as the weeks progress.

But for all the skimpy costumes and flashy lights, it’s all a bit, well, boring.

Uncle Phillip Schofield does his best but quite what purpose Christine Bleakley serves is a bit of a mystery.

She’s one of the growing breed of presenters who should be permanently accompanied by subtitles but from what I can gather she exists solely to ask the judges what they thought.

I suspect they could manage that without her help. Even the judges look as though they don’t want to be there.

Ice maiden Katarina Witt is just scary, Louis Spence is all arms and posturing and Robin Cousins looks like an eccentric geography teacher.

But millions still tune in, so what do I know?