When we first entered into marriage with the European Union, she had many charms and promised the earth, but in middle age she has become increasingly domineering, bad-tempered and vengeful.

Now that we are suing for divorce, she wants to drain us of our last penny, making absurd claims for alimony to keep her in the style to which she has grown accustomed.

I say we should just take our leave before the acrimony worsens. After all, it seems as though she just wanted us for our money.

And our military strength, our links to America and the Commonwealth of Nations, our history and our democratic heritage.

And our courage and resolve. And our language. And our literature, music, theatre and film industry. And our cricket, rugby and other sporting traditions.

And our sense of fair play. And our tolerance. And not only our acceptance, but our willingness to accept and embrace eccentrics.

And our sense of humour. And a practice we invented as a national code of conduct, the orderly queue.

In many ways, the queue says it all. In all of my travels, I have never found it elsewhere to be the accepted custom to the extent that it is right here in the United Kingdom. Please do correct me if I’m wrong about that.

Ira Fishman

Sedgwick