SETTING boundaries is something that might not come easily to you as a parent. You may find it difficult, but it must be done to help your child understand what behaviour is acceptable.

Your child needs to know that you are in charge. By giving them unconditional love as well as clear boundaries you will, through your actions, help your child to feel safe and secure.

Setting boundaries needs to happen at around the time that your children start to walk. Starting early will help you to master the skill in time for the ‘testing twos’.

Trying to negotiate or persuade your child when you want them to start or stop doing something, as well as giving in to their demands will make your children feel emotionally unsafe. Saying no firmly and calmly when appropriate - will have the opposite effect and will in fact reassure your child.

We all need boundaries. It’s a fact of life and a very important lesson we should all learn early in life. While harsh discipline will hinder socialisation in our little ones, clear ‘No’s’ help a child to develop socially and morally.

The danger with parents who don’t address bad behaviour firmly and calmly will teach a child that it is acceptable to damage things and hurt others.

If this is your parenting style, you will find that you quickly lose control during high-risk situations. Setting boundaries and having logical consequences when boundaries are not observed will help you to feel more in control, and your children to understand what is and isn’t acceptable.

See www.parentandbabycoach.co.uk

Next week: Managing misbehaviour when boundaries are tested.