I HAVE talked about setting boundaries in previous columns, they are an important aspect of positive parenting.
If you are finding within family life that even though you have set and agreed boundaries-they are being challenged by your child, (providing the boundaries you have set are clear, fair and consistent) this needs to be challenged.
Sometimes our children forget what has been agreed, or are influenced by those around them, this can happen from time to time, and is nothing to worry about. Dealing with boundary breaking is easy, firmly and fairly is the way to handle this.
Firstly, get close to your child and take yourself down to their eye level.
Use your child’s name and make eye contact with them, don’t worry if they don’t look at you, providing your message is delivered calmly and quietly they will hear you.
Remind them of what agreed boundary they are breaking and ask them to tell you what they should do.
Give them the opportunity to show you how they should be behaving.
Give them praise when they do the right thing, and move on to do something positive together, avoid reminding them of the misdemeanour they have just made.
If your child escalates their behaviour and continues to break the agreed boundaries, then you must escalate to logical consequences, quiet time and time out.
It is very important that your children do in fact test the boundaries from time to time as this makes them feel safe, when handled well by the adults around them.
See: www.parentandbabycoach.co.uk
NEXT WEEK: Using logical consequences, quiet time and time out.
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