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Letter: Why I need a bicycle
12:00pm Friday 18th October 2013 in Opinion
I walk as much as possible, use public transport whenever I can and drive my car as necessary.
However, I am going to get a bicycle so that I can ride the wrong way in one-way roads, go through any red traffic/pedestrian light I see, ride through pedestrian-only areas and on pavements (even those parallel to marked cycle lanes) and verbally abuse any pedestrians who dare get in my way.
I will then take to footpaths and bridleways where I can skim past walkers as closely as possible, preferably spraying them with muddy water as I go and anyone with a baby buggy or dog on a lead should just watch out.
I shall of course ignore ‘cyclists dismount’ signs.
My apologies to those few responsible cyclists who are out there somewhere.
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