I might be a 'great mind' after all...

First published in Opinion The Westmorland Gazette: Photograph of the Author by , Reporter

LAST week I was taught a new saying: great minds discuss ideas, small minds discuss people.

Sadly, through lots of highly scientific research (listening to my own conversations) I now know which camp I fall into.

I’m not the next Einstein, that’s for sure.

This particular pearl of wisdom came from The Fiance, who may or may not have made it up.

He only half-listens at the best of times, and is probably congratulating himself as we speak on his clever ruse to stop me talking so much.

“That’s the last I’ll be hearing about the Kardashians!” he’ll be saying, while dancing a celebratory jig around his office.

“There’ll be no more gossip! No more Heat magazine! No more listening to what ‘this person said’, or ‘that person did’. I’m free! Maybe now I’ll be able to watch the Formula One in peace!”

It’s been a shocking few days as I’ve realised just how much time I spend indulging my preoccupation with the actions of others (or, as some would say, ‘bitching’).

“I cannot be-LIEVE what she just did!” is how a lot of conversations start.

So I’ve been trying to discuss ‘concepts’ more than ‘soap operas’.

“So...Fiance...what DO you think were the economic ramifications of the civil war?”

“Which one?” he asks.

I rack my brains, then reply magnanimously: “Any. You choose!”

It’s tough trying to be a great mind, I’ll admit.

But I’ve had something of a brainwave in the last 24 hours.

“Fiance, here’s a question. What do you think about the IDEA of someone - say, a soap character - having an affair and running off with the family’s life savings?”

He looks up quickly, a pained expression in his eyes, as his dreams of peaceful F1 sessions slip rapidly beyond his grasp.

Round one: Anna.

I think I might be a great mind after all.

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