SOUTH Lakeland, as a collective being, seems to be having something of a sartorial crisis.

I blame the weather. Is it summer? Is it winter? Nobody knows!

We're constantly caught off-guard.

Last week, on the day I dug out my Proper Coat, I saw a girl walk past the office in hot pants and a vest top.

Fair play to her though, she kept her head held high, despite the looks she was getting as her legs turned a strange shade of blue.

And, to give her her dues, although it had been blowing a gale when I'd left the house that morning, it was gloriously sunny by 5pm.

So who was laughing then?

Certainly not me as I panted home up a sun-drenched Beast Banks, weighed down by my woolly jumper, coat, scarf, gloves, cardigan and an umbrella.

Clearly we're all in one of two camps.

There are the positive types, who believe summer is still lurking out there somewhere.

They're the ones still refusing to go out with a coat on, ignoring every instinct in their (goosebump-covered) bodies.

Then there are the people (like me) who love Autumn and adore crisp, freezing cold days - and since the end of August we've been gleefully telling people: "The temperature's dropping!" while pulling out last year's knitwear with gay abandon.

But neither of us is right - and there's a particular "weather regret" face that everyone pulls when they realise they are woefully under or over-dressed.

The man in his khaki shorts and summer t-shirt, who looks up just as the heavens open - that right there is pure regret.

But the self-righteousness is short-lived for his friend, who left the house in skis and a snowsuit. He ends up looking like a total moron when the sun appears two minutes later and it's like we've been transported to Costa del Lakeland.

"We can't possibly plan for it!" is a cry I've heard many times in the last couple of weeks.

Except I think we can...

The key, I believe, is something my mum has been saying for decades: "Layers!"

Leave the house with your snow suit on, by all means.

But - and this is essential - make sure you have your bikini on underneath.

People: 1, Kendal weather: 0