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Raunchy read for generations
TUNNERS is bemused. And the bemusement arises from learning that the Damson Dene Hotel at Crosthwaite is replacing the Gideon Bibles in its rooms with copies of the racy novel Fifty Shades of Grey.
While I haven’t read the latter (my sensibilities are far too sensible for that), I have occasionally dipped my nose into the Bible.
Not for any religious purpose, you understand; but because the Good Book does contain some fine words of wisdom.
However, in many respects the Bible is just as racy as E L James’s titilating tome.
Let’s face it, the first story it tells about humans is how we discovered sex.
After Eve bit into the apple the Bible proceeds to list all the begatting that went on down the generations.
Naughtiness does rather abound in the Old Testament, especially adultory. But without it there would have been no need for the Ten Commandments we all try to obey with varying degrees of success.
Certainly ‘thou shalt not kill’, doesn’t seem to have been taken seriously in biblical times, with plenty of violence recorded in the holy pages. The Bible’s legacy has even tainted my own family - nominally, anyway.
My father and grandfather were both called Adino - after a biblical general who, the Old Testament tells us, slayed hundreds of enemies on the battlefield.
Interestingly, my dad and grandad also fought in battles - in the two world wars - but I’m assured they didn’t slay anyone.
Anyway, back to the Bible - a book that a distant female relative famously used as a contraceptive device, wedging a rather large version of it behind the bedroom door so her husband couldn’t get in.
And another relative, a distant cousin twice removed (once from the pub for drunk and disorderly), adamantly refused to read the Bible because of all the sex and violence.
“I get enough of that at home,” he declared.