MY PIECE last week about headline ‘silliness’ spotted in USA newspapers has prompted two reader responses much closer to home - indeed the journalistic gems my correspondents are keen to share were encountered in this very publication.

Millicent Monck-Mason from Ambleside says she was particularly tickled to once read in the Gazette this intriguing treat: ‘Beds worry dogs hospital’.

Apparently the story it headed was not a concern about the state of the dog baskets in some veterinary infirmary but about bed shortages at Westmorland General.

Millicent follows up with a second example of headline hilarity: ‘Orange squash planning protest’. In this case, the story was about objections to mobile phone giant Orange’s plans for a communications mast, not a protest against moves to build a soft drinks plant in the area.

After reading last week’s column Suzanne Elsworth of Cockermouth, wrote: “ It made me laugh out loud - and, as a former newspaper sub-editor, I fear 'there but for the grace of God'. It did send me looking for alternative interpretations of headlines in your esteemed publication, however, and I am delighted to say the best I could come up with was 'Reject dogs on leads plan'.

Are those poor pups who find themselves kicked out of unloving homes destined to remain tethered forever through no fault of their own?”

I’m very grateful to both Millicent and Suzanne. It’s nice to know we journalists are being monitored by people out there who have a sense of humour and a keen eye for the absurd.

And I’ve contributed my fair share of absurdity to the profession over the years. Thankfully this particularly exchange I had 20 years ago didn’t actually appear in print.

Tunners to 100-year-old man: “To what do you owe your longevity?” Old man to Tunners: “To the fact I was born in 1893.”