Jubilee and Olympics? No thanks! (From The Westmorland Gazette)

Jubilee and Olympics? No thanks!

4:10pm Thursday 31st May 2012 in Allan Tunningley By Allan Tunningley

LIVING between two beautiful national parks has its obvious advantages.

One distinct plus is the remoteness will enable me to escape the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations.

Now I’m not agin the Queen. In fact, I’m a particular admirer. Born the year before her accession, I’ve grown up with the royal old dear. She has done a great job over the years and I’m happy to jump to her defence if needed.

Of course, it’s always tempting to introduce a big ‘but’ after praising the Queen - one that usually refers to the rest of the royals as a waste of space. However, I’m not going to fall into that trap. They’re our Queen’s family and I’m sure she gets just as upset as any other wife and mum would when reading critical stories about her eldest son’s perceived ill-fittedness for kingship or her gaffe-prone husband’s references to the slanty-eyed of this world. No, I wouldn’t dare upset Her Majesty by even mentioning such references.

What’s important is that the Queen should know that my lack of enthusiasm - one might even say antipathy - re the jubilee celebrations is nothing personal against her.

If she reads this weekly ramble through life’s vicissitudes, and no one from Buckingham Palace has ever rung to say she doesn’t, she’ll understand why I don’t want anything to do with the weekend’s partying and pageantry and all the other assorted monarchy-inspired madness.

It’s the same with the Olympic torch relay. What’s the point of it? The Olympics are London’s party - leave the rest of us out of it!

Combined, the two premier events of the summer are just community candy, created to anaesthetise us from life’s miserable realities.

Well, I’ll pass on the anaesthetic and enjoy my clear-minded misery on the top of Helvellyn - probably alone!