TODAY I received one of those dreaded nuisance calls. You know the sort. They always start with "How are you today?"

Here is a transcript of how it went:

"How are you today?"

"Well I was ok but then you rang."

"I’m sorry to hear that, I just have four quick questions and then I’ll hang up. What age bracket are you in?"

"I don’t believe in age, I believe you are as young as you feel."

"I’m sorry I don’t understand."

"I’m sorry that you don’t understand."

(Slight pause)

"Ok, next question. What is your residential status?"

"Homeless."

"But you are answering a landline."

"Yes, I do this transcendentally."

"I don’t understand."

"I use thought control to answer phones transcendentally."

"Oh, I see, you are wasting my time."

"Yes, how does it make you feel?"

She hung up.

I wonder if I’ll get any more calls like that?

Gary Boswell

Grange-over-Sands