I NEVER knew you could have so much fun in a lavatory.

Ok, banish all images of George Michael and frisky chavs because I’m not about to get X-rated - I’m talking about hand-dryers, taps, seats, even flushing action.

The other day I went to a new restaurant called Plato’s in Kirkby Lonsdale (see Food and Drink for my review).

After muttering under my breath about how inconsiderate it was of the architects to make me cross a roofless courtyard to get to the ladies (not good when a) it’s raning and b) I have frizz-prone hair) I became a giggling idiot on seeing the hand-dryers.

You might have seen Dyson’s latest washroom invention - a machine that works like a wall-mounted tumble dryer to, according to their website, “literally scrape water off the hands” by way of a powerful blast of cold air.

It’s sleek. It’s fast. It’s even 80 per cent kinder to the environment. But it’s not as much fun as the dryer in Platos, which requires the user to wave at a little panel before it will mechanically dispense paper towel.

If it sounds a bit primitive compared to the vaccum cleaner version, it’s not. And as I discovered while my lamb rump went cold, varying degrees of wave produce different amounts of towel. A bold, exaggerated gesture and out pops tissue for the bigger-handed client, for example. While wrist action akin to that of the Queen would leave your digits still damp.

I couldn’t use it without smiling either. Unlike the taps. Does anyone actually like those sensor taps that only emit water when they detect a grubby paw? I’ve lost count of the times when I’ve lathered up with soap then stood for several minutes waiting in vain for water to spring. It’s enough to turn you into a ‘walker’ - that unhygienic convenience-user who walks without washing.

When it comes to taps I like traditional. But when it comes to hand-dryers and those ‘magic’ flushes that don’t require any physical contact, technology brings out the child in me.

I used a loo in Leeds/Bradford Airport last week which had automatic toilet seat covers. One touch of a button and the plastic sheet you’ve just sat on is replaced by another. Inspired!

My mum always says the loos speak volumes about an establishment. It seems they do about my maturity too.