IT IS easy within the family environment for fights and aggression to occur. This can range from arguments, hurtful comments, refusal to share as well as common ‘rough and tumble’ play, to more destructive behaviour. The key to preventing this type of behaviour becoming the norm in family life is to nip it in the bud early on, writes CHRIS GARNER.

Fighting and aggression is usually a result of children feeling frustrated, resentful or angry when things don’t go the way they want. As a parent, if you can get an understanding of what triggers these emotions, then you will be best placed to ensuring they don’t happen again. 

When encouraging your child to play cooperatively: 

  • Explain the rules. 
  • Choose some activities that teach turn taking. 
  • Encourage good behaviour. 
  •  Help with problem solving. 

When managing squabbles and fighting: 

  • Tell your child what to do – not what not to do. 
  • Use logical consequences to back up your instruction. 
  • Return the activity and give your child the opportunity to behave well. 

How to manage aggression: 

  • Act quickly when your child becomes aggressive 
  • Speak firmly and tell them what to stop doing. 
  •  Praise your child if they do as you have asked. 
  • Back up your instruction with quiet time or time out. 
  • When your child has been quiet for two minutes let them re-join the activity. 
  • Praise them if they play well. 

As I have said in my columns many times before, the key to a happy child and a harmonious family is good communication. This, mixed with plenty of love and understanding, will enable you to deal effectively with bad behaviour. 

See: www.parentandbabycoach.co.uk 

Next week: Separation anxiety