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Chair destroyed
4:53pm Friday 26th January 2007
AN OFFICE chair was destroyed after it was set on fire on the grassy area, off Maude Street, Kendal, this afternoon (Friday).
Fire crews from Kendal attended along with police.
A spokesman for the fire and rescue service said: "A delinquent set fire to an office chair in the middle of a grassy area and it was extinguished using one hose jet."
Your Say YourThe Westmorland Gazette
Mark Thomson, says...
11:03am Mon 29 Jan 07
Jonty, says...
12:49pm Tue 30 Jan 07
You've got to feel sorry for the journalist who wrote it though.
I suppose everybody's got to start somewhere!
becky, lancaster says...
9:33am Thu 1 Feb 07
Can it be??
A fire crew AND police sent to the scene of the crime? Good use of public money there.....
Ben Thomas, Dubai says...
9:45am Thu 1 Feb 07
and to hear stories like this makes me sick to my stomach.
Dave Kenyon, Lancaster says...
10:27am Thu 1 Feb 07
Chris Bell, Lancaster says...
11:45am Thu 1 Feb 07
Anon, Lancaster says...
11:54am Thu 1 Feb 07
Jack Bauer, Los Angeles says...
11:59am Thu 1 Feb 07
Similar!, York says...
2:02pm Thu 1 Feb 07
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/
(Thanks Becky for your inspiration)x
Steve Piers, Lancaster says...
6:10pm Thu 1 Feb 07
Abu Fyed, Ireland says...
6:14pm Thu 1 Feb 07
Derek Bowyer, Lancaster says...
8:33pm Thu 1 Feb 07
Adam Candle, Lancaster says...
8:47pm Thu 1 Feb 07
Laurent Blanc, says...
10:11pm Thu 1 Feb 07
Elton Welsby, 401-331 says...
10:49pm Thu 1 Feb 07
Chair, Chair - over there?
Chair, Chair - on fire!
Chavs and Younglings everywhere.
His cells have the highest concentration of
midi-chlorians I have seen in a life form
Thom, says...
11:18pm Thu 1 Feb 07
The Chairman, I was sitting on the chair says...
1:03pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Mike Glover - Editor/Publisher, Kendal says...
2:08pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Mike Glover
Editor/Publisher
Nick, Chesterfield says...
3:03pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Andrew Daniels, Kendal says...
3:34pm Fri 2 Feb 07
It's nice of you all to have taken up so much of your time to comment and it's turned out to be the talk of the newsroom!
If only all my stories generated this much feedback and interest!
Ellie Hargreaves, Wezzy Gezzy says...
3:40pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Brian Newbold, Doncaster says...
6:18pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Brian Newbold, Doncaster says...
6:24pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Arthur Flatcher, Yorkshire says...
6:33pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Paul Lavin, York says...
6:37pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Bobbi, Dorset says...
7:39pm Fri 2 Feb 07
Product Recall, says...
8:33pm Fri 2 Feb 07
becky, lancaster says...
4:12pm Sat 3 Feb 07
Avid fan, Becky
Stuart Mackay, Kirkby - In - Furness says...
10:25pm Sat 3 Feb 07
Bobby Cat, Middle of Central Park says...
12:17pm Sun 4 Feb 07
chair lover, cheese land says...
9:04am Mon 5 Feb 07
Chairman, Yorkshire ...E bah gum! says...
9:13am Mon 5 Feb 07
Electric chair? That reminds me...
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the
chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this
time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch.?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you
can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it" he asked.
Nahh" said the bloke,
"I'm just a really bad conductor"
Dave Kenyon, Lancaster says...
12:27pm Mon 5 Feb 07
Whatever, Cheshire says...
12:55pm Mon 5 Feb 07
I'm very worried about Chair's family..., says...
1:52pm Mon 5 Feb 07
Despite all the jokes and fun everyone is having at the expense of this chair can I ask one important question - Was there a racial element to this unprovoked attack? Did this chair have the right to work in this country or was it an illegal immigrant? I think there needs to be some sort of investigation into the wider implications of this attack.
Good point "Whatever". IF the chair was here illegally then he might not have been here alone. He may have bought his Bench and Stools over with him. Who's looking after them now? They might be too scared to come forward.
The Man From the Coal Board, says...
10:45pm Mon 5 Feb 07
Claus System, Singapore says...
12:33am Tue 6 Feb 07
Legislation required?, Westminster says...
12:57pm Tue 6 Feb 07
Andrew Daniels, Kendal says...
5:05pm Tue 6 Feb 07
I did have to start somewhere but something like this is too big a story for a new starter. It takes years of experience to generate so much interest in what at first seemed an innocuous story.
Becky, if you were an avid fan I would have expected you to have read many of my thrilling stories.
Classics include changes to seating arrangements at town council meetings (chairs again!) and the number of hanging baskets to be put up around Windermere.
We've even had a story on broken glass in Kirkby Stephen.
becky, lancaster says...
9:50am Wed 7 Feb 07
Broken glass in Kirby Stephen?? What is the world coming to.
J Wheel, Bearsden says...
6:56pm Thu 8 Feb 07
R.Herring, Kendal says...
7:51pm Thu 8 Feb 07
Product Recall wrote:88 Maude St.
Weve been forced into cancelling the field trial of our prototype Haemorrhoid Relief Chair due to a batch of faulty heater elements from China. (R.Soul Chairs UK Ltd.)
Kendal.
To the Development Manager, (R.Soul Chairs UK Ltd.)
Ref your heated chair (model HRC Mk1).
Dear Sir,
your product recall came too late... Id just got back from Weightwatchers the other Friday afternoon and sat on my new chair to watch Countdown. As the clock ticked down on the first numbers game I noticed that the seat was becoming extremely warm. When the adverts came on I tried to get up to make a brew and there was a bang and a flash and the seat caught fire.
Luckily I managed to put myself out with a 2Ltr. bottle of Diet Coke but was unable to save the chair (I unplugged it and pushed it outside onto a grassy area and sent for t fire brigade!).
Anyway, no worries, the doctor says the burns are only superficial and the bandages will be off by the end of the week.
Is there any chance you could send me some money (say £200) to cover the cost of a replacement chair and a pair of trousers.
yours hopefully,
R.Herring
ps A reporter from the Gazette has been sniffing around, so send the money asap or he gets the full story.. warts and all.
Ellis Butcher, Kendal says...
7:55pm Thu 8 Feb 07
"You find me der body dat was sitting in dat chair...you got yourself a moyder!"
Someone start a best headline competition!
Chair-iots of fire
Hot Desking in Kendal
chippendale, says...
7:56pm Thu 8 Feb 07
Henry Snurd, London says...
8:35pm Thu 8 Feb 07
This fate of this chair is nothing less than murder. Did those animals who took its life realise how its family must be grieving right now?
My many thanks to the people of your area who have provided this poor thing with a decent burial.
Dibble of the Yard, Scotland Yard says...
8:49pm Thu 8 Feb 07
I have reason to believe that this chair may have been involved in an arm robbery, in fact possibly two arm robberies. Only by the seat of it pants did it escape the last time.... it looks however that we may be too late to apprehend it... as I was looking forward to telling it to swivel when it applied for bail.
Gilbert O'Sullivan, Hollywood says...
1:15am Fri 9 Feb 07
Chair. The moment I met you, I swear.
I felt as if something, somewhere,
had happened to me, which I couldn't see.
And then, the moment I met you, again.
I knew in my heart that we were friends.
It had to be so, it couldn't be no.
But try as hard as I might do, I don't know why.
You get to me in a way I can't describe.
Words mean so little when you look up and smile.
I don't care what people say, to me you're more than a stool.
Oh Chair. Chair ...
E.T., Venus says...
1:49am Fri 9 Feb 07
Because he aint got a chair.
(it was set on fire)
Elizabeth Anderson, Doncaster Victoria Australia says...
7:41am Fri 9 Feb 07
Becca, Durham says...
10:05am Fri 9 Feb 07
Popular Futon Front, Sweden says...
10:47am Fri 9 Feb 07
We did tip off the police prior to the horrific murder to let them know of our vicious intentions, but alas they did not take our warning seriously
The chair squealed like a pig
We will shortly be posting the stomach-turning video on the internet, most likely You Tube, and set it to music (probably Fire Starter by The Prodigy)
More will follow in numerous locations across South Lakeland unless our primary demand is accepted
We want chairs to be replaced by futons in all offices across the South Lakeland
We believe that futons offer a more relaxing alternative to chairs
Futons are much more versatile than these rigid creations and give people the option to sit, slouch or sleep
We also think that futons play an important role in keeping the Swedish furniture economy alive
For too long our foam packed foes have dominated the office seating market
Today Kendal, tomorrow the world!
RSPCTC, Birmingham says...
12:00pm Fri 9 Feb 07
On behalf of the Royal Society for Prevention of Cruelty To Chairs
J Wheel, Bearsden says...
12:52pm Fri 9 Feb 07
The mists of an earlier time, of myth and saga
Swirl down from Cunswick Scar to Helsfell
The dull gleam of helmet and tempered metal
Just a fleeting glimpse, a feeling, a shudder.
They found you, between this life and the next
One hose was all that was needed
To extinguish the flame of your pyre
A vehicle once forgotten, now misunderstood.
The police did what they could
But no foul murderer should they have sought.
For you, a true hero of the office
Left, as you had lived, a Viking true
Crime Solved!, Scotland Yard says...
2:41pm Fri 9 Feb 07
I think Mr. Maarten Baas is the culprit.
We will be taking him into custard soon! See below for "details of the case for the prosecution"
http://www.icon-magazine.co.uk/issues/020/baas_text.htm
Another crime solved by me, Inspector Corner (of the yard)
Jimbo, Kendal says...
5:54pm Fri 9 Feb 07
babara-ann, pompey says...
3:42pm Sat 10 Feb 07
Ross, Portsmouth says...
3:47pm Sat 10 Feb 07
babara-ann wrote:i think babara-ann sounds suicidal. somebody help him before he is lot as well as his chair. well they would be together again. that could be some comfort...
that chair was my beloved i cannot believe that someone would do such a terrible act towards my dearly beloved office chair. its too much for me to take
freddo, says...
3:53pm Sat 10 Feb 07
the vicious vandal, Kendal says...
8:08pm Sat 10 Feb 07
Judge Eggnog Satintrousers, Up Hellvelyn With A Crow says...
6:03pm Sun 11 Feb 07
Lensman, says...
9:28am Mon 12 Feb 07
Prenderghast Snoopswigger III, Bournemouth says...
2:37pm Mon 12 Feb 07
Shaun Hunter, London, St Petersburg Russia says...
11:22am Tue 13 Feb 07
Jon Smith, Darlington says...
11:44am Tue 13 Feb 07
The chair, heaven says...
5:15pm Tue 13 Feb 07
a devistated chair lover, Kendal says...
5:58pm Tue 13 Feb 07
D Ryder, says...
10:51pm Tue 13 Feb 07
In Liverpool recently a secretary left her chair unattended for a matter of minutes, on returning she found the casters had been removed and replaced by four bricks.
Sceptic, Bongs Toffee Shop says...
11:15pm Tue 13 Feb 07
Much more of this and chairs will fall outside the home contents bracket.
Westmorland Gazette Administration, says...
9:26am Wed 14 Feb 07
toby, says...
12:44pm Wed 14 Feb 07
becky, lancaster says...
1:44pm Wed 14 Feb 07
Anyway why would the Westmorland Gazette want to shut down the comments on this - surely the website is getting more hits than ever...
I've got an idea for a story - Andrew pay attention...
"Story about chair on fire sparks national interest" - surely a story about lots of strange people getting together online is better than the orginal?? (no offence to the chair) - I would be happy to do an interview... :) maybe a nice picture of our hero andrew too??
becky
JillyBee, Portswood says...
10:16pm Thu 11 Sep 08
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Ian, says...
5:08pm Sat 27 Jan 07