"I SUPPOSE its because I am getting old and have time on my hands to study things in depth, but the small print in advertisments, in magazines and on television, really annoys me," said a Windermere reader who sent me an e-mail.

"I regularly receive office equipment magazines from at least three different companies.

"In certain sections, and in very large print, it claims that you can get a ream of copying paper for £1.96.

" Excellent was my first impression, load of old cobblers was my second.

For the small print says the price is only valid if you buy 60 ream or more and is exclusive of VAT.

"The same thing happens in computer magazines, which tend to advertise systems priced before VAT has been added.

"Another of my quibbles is with the 'Golden Oldies' CD music discs advertised on television at £8.99, £7.99, £6.99 and so on.

"The price is emphasised by the commentator's voice and by very large print.

"Tucked away in the corner of the screen and not mentioned by the voice is the extra financial outlay of the dreaded

package and postage at £ 2.99.

"Now in my book this pumps up the £8.99 CD to two pence short of £12.

"I can't see how a piece of cardboard packaging or a second class stamp comes to £2.99, but to someone living on a

pension it looks like a nice little bit of exploitation."

LAST LEGS

IT IS always sad to see an old dog on its last legs.

This thought occurred to me when I was amazed to learn that the South Cumbria Community Health Council was still in

existence.

The once ferocious guardian of public accountability by the health service has lost all its teeth in recent years becoming more lapdog than watchdog.

I used to enjoy covering SCHC meetings where bark was usually followed up with an equal measure of bite.

The members would sink their fangs into the state of

hospital services, shake up health centres like a terrier with a rat by the neck and take a nip at the backside of obstreperous doctors.

The unannounced hunting pack inspections on hospital wards would have administrators scrambling to go to earth and even their blind amateurish blundering around was often as effective as any setter putting the birds up for a shoot.

So where this old dog been during the past 12 months?

It hasn't been snapping at any ankles over suggestions that services may be removed from Westmorland General Hospital or harrying those responsible fore keeping people waiting an inordinate amount of time for operations.

It appears to me to have been largely confined to its kennel, dozing away its days until next year when government vets finally put it out of its misery.

SHORT-CIRCUIT FOR CASH

WANDERING through Kendal I noticed that one of the amusement arcades had a poster in the window saying 'ATM machine now inside'.

So you go in, take money out of the slot of one machine and feed it into the slot of another.

I wonder how long it will be before they simplify the whole thing by linking the two slots with a plastic pipe to remove all human involvement in the transfer of money from bank to casino operator.