TOUR of Britain cyclists called off their race through Kendal, Kirkby Lonsdale, and into Lancashire this week due to high winds.

What a bunch of wusses.

I suppose we were experiencing a somewhat eccentric climate, what with the inconvenient Hurricane Katia.

Still, after witnessing the 16 teams of cyclists pulling into town on Monday morning, in their skin-tight lycra attire, I don’t think they’d have made it round on even your average Cumbrian day.

Mark Cavendish and his brightly-coloured posse of bikers clearly needed some North West survival tips.

Here is the essential advice I think they should have been handed on their way past tourist information.

Number one: If you’re going to bike around Kendal and the surrounding district there is no use bringing flimsy kit.

At the very least you need tyres with inbuilt ice grips and industrial strength mud guards.

Even then it is likely you will struggle with the sheer quantity of sludge present on some of the county’s rural roads.

A tractor is the preferred choice of many locals. An army tank is preferable.

Next up, clothing, There is simply no point wearing anything fancy – even if you do look amazing in a lycra one-piece.

Expensive attire will only add to feelings of rage and frustration when you’re soaking wet and under attack from Bowness swans.

A waterproof cagoule is a better bet.

The true explorer should invest in dual function clothing which can be zipped inside out to transform into a lifeboat, thus reducing the risks of drowning should you be blown into Morecambe Bay.

See all good mountain retailers for further details.

Thirdly, this is the North West and, traditionally, when extreme weather sets in, round about now, it generally doesn’t let up until mid-August the following year.

You will experience multiple soakings and, in all likelihood, end up in an undignified and unplanned yoga pose on the ice.

Therefore, most of all it is important that you maintain a good sturdy Cumbrian sense of humour and a warm heart.