If family life has turned into a constant battle to keep everyone happy and maintain harmony in the home then it is time to set some goals for change.

With any action plan the goals need to be Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic and Time related. Using this SMART approach will be the difference between success and failure.

Firstly identify what needs to change. Include all family members in agreeing the goals for change. Discuss how you will know when there is an improvement. Keep goals achievable and give yourself and the family a time frame in which for the changes should be in place and working effectively.

An example could be bedtimes as this is a constant area of contention with a lot of parents I have worked with.

Agree a bedtime, the routine leading up to children in bed and going off to sleep, and the rules i.e. staying in bed until morning.

In order to measure the success of the plan use a tally sheet or a star chart which your child can complete each morning after a successful night. In order to ensure this is achievable discuss bed times and consider other aspects such as older children going to bed later etc.

Be realistic as there may be changes that need to make at weekends for instance the bed time could be later, or during school holidays.

A time for the new changes being in place and working well needs to be agreed. Once you set off on the journey to making changes ensure that there is a time limit agreed where things are settled and changed, continuing something on that clearly isn’t working will just add to the stress.

Review how things have changed after a week or so and adjust the goals for change accordingly.

NEXT TIME: The testing twos

See: www.parentandbabycoach.co.uk